marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
