all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
