Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
