Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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