yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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