why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
