I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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