don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize