yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
