Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
