just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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