so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This is my gift to your gina
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We're too hungover to prance.
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