I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
