Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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