hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
