I wish I only lived at night.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
