They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
