do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
