I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
