I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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