you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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