Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
