I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
