Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
