I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
