im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
