sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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