Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
my liver is dry heaving
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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