You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
