Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
