There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
