I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize