If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize