Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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