hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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