How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize