I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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