Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
