I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
