Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
