Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize