Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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