I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
