why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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