I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I could fuck to npr.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
