Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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