It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
