i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
