i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
