belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
