this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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