I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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