i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
