im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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