she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
