I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
