mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
