On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
