I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Randomize
