She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
