My nipple is on Facebook.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
