Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
