My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize