my sisters under your porch take her home
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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